Assorted physics goodness

Professor Kirsch won the super important Shirt-Of-The-Week contest for this week with yesterday's submission. He usually wears a sweater or some other standard form of physics attire. Yesterday, however, he was sporting a nice black t-shirt with the following on it:

Resistance is futile
(If <1 ohm)

For those who don't dabble in electronics, the ohm is the unit of resistance. 1 ohm would therefore be very little resistance.


The Steady State Is Out Of Date (To "O Tannenbaum")
By George Gamow

'Your years of toil," said Ryle to Hoyle, "Are wasted years, believe me.
The steady state is out of date; unless my eyes deceive me,
My telescope has dashed your hope; Your tenets are refuted.
Let me be terse: Our universe Grows daily more diluted!'

Said Hoyle, 'You quote Lemaitre, I notw, And Gamow. Well forget them!
That errant gang and their Big Bang - - Why aid them and abet them?
You see, my friend, It has no end And there was no beginning,
As Bondi, Gold and I will hold Until our hair is thinning.'

'Not so!' cried Ryle with rising bile and straing at the tether;
'Far galaxies are, as one sees, more tightly packed together!'
'You make me boil!' exploded Hoyle, his statement rearranging;
'New matter's born each night and morng, the picture is unchanging!'

'Come off it Hoyle! I aim to foil you yet' (The fun commences)
'And in a while,' continued Ryle, "I'll bring you to your sense!'


That one would probably be more fun if I recognized more of the names...

A Liter and a Gram (to "A Bushel and a Peck")

I love you a liter and a gram,
A liter and a a gram and it's crazy that I am.
A metera nd a yard and a newton and a watt,
A newton and a watt, and I wanna know a lot
About you, about you
(A meter and a liter,
nothing could be sweeter.)
'Cause I love you a liter and a gram,
And it's crazy that I am for you.

I love you a poundal and a dyne,
A poundal and a dyne, and I wanna make you mine,
A foot-pound and an erg and a joule and a calorie
A joule and a calorie, and I wana spend my salary
On you, on you
(Centigrades and Fahrenheits,
You lift me up to darin' heights.)
'Cause I love you a poundal and a dyne,
And I wanna make you mine, I do.


Data Dips and Peaks (to "Cheek to Cheek")

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
"Cause I finally found the funding that I seek.
Now I'm measuring those data dips and peaks.

Heaven, I'm in heaven.
And the cares the hung around me 50 weeks
Finally vanished like a gambler's lucky streak
With acquiring all those data dips and peaks.

Now I love to go to meethings, and to hear or give a speech
But I don't enjoy them half as much
As data dips and peaks.

I love to read and write a paper, and a physics course to teach
But they don't thrill me half as much
As data dips and peaks.

Oh points on my screen
I want to analyze you
Just one effect new
Will carry me through to

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
"Cause I finally found the funding that I seek.
Now I'm measuring those data dips and peaks!

When You're In K-Space (to "Makin' Whoopee")

The bound'ries of hte Brillouin zone
Just represent a law you've known
The satisfaction of Bragg diffraction
When you're in k-space

Those bound'ries on the k-space maps
Are where you'll find energy gaps
That's one attraction of the abstraction
When you're in k-space

And there's the Fermi surface
Contour of energy
Things happen when that surface
Reaches the boundary

Dimensions in momentum space
Are inverse of the normal place
Just keepin' busy can make you dizzy
When you're in k-space

(Last one! Although there are quite a few that I didn't put up)

Solid State of Mind (to "New York State Of Mind")

Some folks like astronomy and study galaxies in the local group
Some like quantum gravity, pulling super strings from the cosmic soup
But I'm poitning my laser, at an earthly crystalline.
I'm in a Solid State of Mind.

I've heard all the theories on the Higgs boson and supersymmetry.
Been around the cyclotrons and down the beam lines of high energy.
But I can build what I'm needing - I don't need to wait for time.
I'm in a Solid State of Mind.

I really dig crystallography and the symmetries of lattices and point groups
Is it orthorhombic, hexagonal, or face-centered cube?
X-ray diffraction is a great way to spend some time.
I'm in a Solid State of Mind.

It is so easy to get work today.
If Solid State is the physics you do.
Hard drives, cell phones, computers, hearing aids.
The Solid State - ita pays.

Semiconductors have changed the way we live today.
Junction transistiors gave birth to our computer age.
Electronic switching - getting faster all the time.
I'm in a Solid State of Mind.

It is so easy to get work today.
If Solid State is the physics you do.
MOSFESTS, ISs, LEDs, and wafer substrates.
The Solid State is here to stay.

Superconductivity at High T_c is super cool
Superfluidity of He-3 is super smooth
So many super mysteries
We'll solve them one phase at a time.
I'm in a Solid State of Mind.

I'm building a quantum dot laser out of indium aresenide.
I'm in a Solid, or Amorphous, State of Mind.